Here it is again yet it stings like the first time.

I'm like two days away from leaving to India. And for those of you who still don't know, I'm going to Manipal to do medicine. ( I feel funny saying it la, I'm probably just not used to it, I think.)



I'm going to be dissecting bodies from now onwards and my blog is going to be filled with pictures of visceral organs and cadavers and I'll probably have a viewer's discretion sign on the top of the page. Wtf la. God forbid. I promise you that my blog will be safe to read while eating and even if not, I'll warn you guys first.



On a different note, I'm feeling pretty sad about leaving. There's so much at home that I'm going to miss. And if I could fit everything in a suitcase, I would bring it all with me. But all that can come along with me are the only small pieces of the entire puzzle. Sigh.



It just hit me suddenly, when I had to choose what Maggi flavour I wanted and when I was buying three-in-one sachets of Milo and Nescafe. It was just like before I left to Subang, but this is not the
four-hour-ride-away-from-home anymore. This is waayy different.



Everybody is telling me that time will fly by and before I know it, I'll be home again. I want to believe them badly but I know that I'm going to miss out on soo many things in this two and the half years period. There will be family reunions, birthdays, engagements and weddings that I'll be missing on.
And I swear I'll cry if my baby cousin doesn't recognise me anymore after six months.



I've been trying to eat all my favourite food here and I just don't think I can have all that I want before I leave. I was trying to memorise the taste of laksa the other day and my sister started laughing at me. I know I probably sound pathetic but I've to live for six months without having all my comfort Malaysian food.



Before I leave, I'm going to memorise every single detail of my home and my room, till every single small mark and the absolute slightest detail is vivid in my memory. And I'll make sure it never does fade away, even the scent of my room and the sound of my dad's lamb chop sizzling on the pan.



This is only the small part of how I'm feeling now and I know it's going to get worse during the last few minutes when I'm leaving all the familiar faces to somewhere far and different and maybe even evil.


Sob sob.

Dark passion play.

I saw Anas Zubedy's plea in The Star on a full blown page, N37 and I really salute him for stepping up and saying this in the media. It's not something anybody would have the balls to do.

Quoting him:

Dear Malaysian Politicians,

Please stop the power chase, call for a truce and focus on the economy.

I do not claim to speak on behalf of all Malaysians, but I have strong convictions that many share my sentiments.

Our concern today is not who rules the country or heads the state governments but the looming bad economy.

Whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat leads, it is meaningless if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table.

I am a business owner, like other business owners and managers of corporations I have a responsibility to ensure people under my care and payroll continue to have jobs and a decent income to take home. We work hard and willing to go the extra mile to make sure our nation not only survive this crisis but come out stronger and wiser. We need your help.

Let me explain. I am in the business of Training, Development and Consultancy and have 20 people in my team.

Saedah is 42. She keeps the office clean and helps organise the training rooms. She has four children and her husband is unemployed. She was first hired on a part time basis, because she is very hard working and has a great attitude, we offered her a full time job to help provide a stable income for her family. Even then, when her third child started school this year, it was a struggle for her to buy new school uniforms and other necessities. Saedah lives on a ‘kais bulan, makan bulan’ basis, so, if she is jobless, her tap runs dry.

Samsuri is 27 years old. He lives with his sister and her family in a low cost government flat in Sunway. He does our despatch, helps with various clerical works and occasionally acts as a driver. During the first week at zubedy, we learned that he not only did not have money to buy new clothes and shoes for work, he had no money for lunch. Like Saedah, if he has no job, his tap runs dry too.

Alicia in Client Servicing turns 26 this year. She lives with her dad who is 71 years old and retired. Her mom passed away when she was little. Alicia is a hard-working team member, has a gentle caring outlook and fun to be with. (We like to poke fun at her as she blushes easily). Last May her dad went through a major operation, thank God he has recovered well. Alicia needs a job, both for herself and her dad.

Sudesh, 38, is one of our facilitators. When his father passed away last year, he moved back and lives with his mother in Seremban. He shuttles between Kuala Lumpur and Seremban daily, leaving home sometimes as early as 4 in the morning and returning late at night. He is no stranger to hard work and sacrifice, he knows what he needs to do to survive and to care for his mother, but he too needs a job.

Like fellow Malaysians, every one of us in zubedy needs employment, those that live from hand to mouth like Saedah and Samsuri and others like Alicia and Sudesh with family to care for. We Malaysians need the Malaysian economy to be strong. We need you, our leaders, to work hard and to work together to make our economy viable.

So this is my plea.

Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and persuade BN’s lawmakers to join you. Stop all legal proceedings, no more 916 and let go, just let go. The nation can wait till the next general elections if they want change. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and gracious and give you their support in the next elections.

Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR’s lawmakers. You have proven your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general elections if they want your party. Focus all your talent, energy and hard work in steering the country out of an economic downturn. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and smart and give you their support in the next elections.

BN and PR! Call for a truce. Get together and compromise. Someone has to give in. Or has hate consumed your heart till it blinds you? You can do it. You have enough intelligent people between you. I am sure you can find solutions. Take the nation to heart. That is why you are in politics in the first place.

Focus on the people.

Focus on the economy.

Anas Zubedy
Managing Director
Zubedy (M) Sdn Bhd


Well said, don't you think?


I think people need to become more aware and educated so that the government realise that they cannot fool us anymore and should be afraid of us and give us all that we expect from them. Until we stop being foolish and ignorant and stop fearing them, only then, they'll stop exploiting us.

Worlds collide.

In the eyes of all the narrow-minded teachers at my high school, I was the-girl-with-the-attitude-problem.



They didn't care that I got good grades or that I helped pull up the average of the school in major examinations or that I had 10 stunning A's for SPM or that I debated for the school and state or that I wrote stuff for the school in competitions or that I helped raising funds for the school.



And most importantly, they never cared about the 500 ringgit that my teammates and I won in a competition, which we were forced to donate to the school.



All that mattered to them was that I had hair falling all over my face and that I skipped school a little too often and I was rude to them.



So what if I stayed home during school days because I thought my teachers weren't doing a very good job teaching and that I would rather be studying at home than attending school? With my parents' permission at that.



So fine, I had hair falling over my eyes but who am I harming by doing so? And when some rigid, kampung mentality teacher questions me about my hair and start making rude remarks, what's wrong in standing up for myself by raising my voice?



So to all the asshole teachers in my high school who sat in the staffroom all day shaking their legs, eating karipap and drinking teh ais, talking about what an epic failure Tharani Naidu is going to become, I'll tell you now that I'm going to medical school and will be a successful doctor. And when you come running to me to save your lives, I might have to think twice.

.

.

.

.

p/s- I didn't mean all the teachers in my high school, just certain narrow-minded ones who were always finding faults in students and bullying those who were too afraid to stand up for themselves. But to the rest of the teachers who always had faith in me, I love you guys.

Agony and irony.

Yes, I found my passport. It was in this isolated drawer at home, I mean nobody would ever think of looking for something there. It's like a hidden and concealed and unnoticeable drawer. That's why i took so long to look for it, you know. It's like an impossible place to look for a missing passport.



Totally and extremely and awfully impossible.



Okay la. Wtf la. I'm lying. It was in this drawer so close to the television, the first place anybody would think of checking if they were looking for something. Of course, I didn't think of looking for my passport there la because I'm such a genius that even I amaze myself sometimes.



It's so typical of me to ignore what's right before my eyes la, I tell you. I even thought of searching the dustbin but not that drawer, the toilet but not that drawer. I emptied all my jeans pockets and checked inside the washing machine also. You know, I think I walked past that drawer a gazillion times but never once thought of looking inside it.



So when I was like in a gonna die state, I told my sister about the missing passport and that I'll have to smuggle myself out of the country and would she bail me out if I get caught by the police.



She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "It should be around here somewhere la." And I said, "No, it's not. I looked for it everywhere already la."



Oh, and I emphasized soo much on that everywhere.



I think my sister panicked a little too so she said she'd help me to look for it. And so she stood up and walked straight up to that drawer and opened it and took my passport out and said, "Eh, you want attention is it?"



Sigh.


I think I just told everyone what a dork I am on my own blog.

I misplaced

my passport.


I
am
so
screwed.

Stayin' alive.

Mmm. I think I've lost the passion to blog. I'd summarize what I've been doing and I end up with zero content.



I've been sleeping my days away, not cause of exhaustion but boredom. I don't even know what day is it today.



I hate being home where there are simply not enough snacks. I wonder how the rest of my family survives. And there isn't any more tissue paper. So sad la my life. No place to blow my nose also.



I'm craving for peanut butter and ice cream. And it has to be satisfied pronto. Or else I'm going to go crazy. Sob sob.



One thing I hate about new books is that I get paper cuts while reading them. I'm so prone to paper cuts la, I don't know why. I always end up with cuts after a night of cramming up for exams.



Sometimes I feel like throwing away all my dirty, folded and disgusting looking one ringgit notes. I don't know why but I rather throw them into the bin then giving them away.



I can't wait for Sunday. Eh, isn't it Saturday already? No wait, yesterday was Wednesday. I don't know la. I've lost track of time. Everyday is exactly the same so I can't distinguish the days anymore.



Maybe I should go to some culinary school and end up making chocolate bourbon pecan tarts and hazelnut cakes with chocolate truffle fillings for the rest of my life.



Or I could run away to fashion school, designing shoes and dresses and live happily ever after.



Or I could be a good girl and listen to my mum, go to medical school and spend the rest of my life killing people.



My cranium is pounding and I'm so sleepy. Which is crazy, considering I woke up just a few hours ago. I think I need help.



Bye bye.

2 0 0 9

The year 2009 has not exactly been very nice to me. Yes, it has only been a few days but everything seems to be so harsh, I'm almost afraid of the whole year that lies ahead.



Okay fine, I'll quit lamenting about how the year feels so lazy and I didn't bother making any resolutions because I know I can never stick to any of them.



And by the end of 2009, I'll be on my way to becoming a doctor or possibly a stand-up comedian.