And somehow, this hell is home.

The finals are over. I'm happy but I know I could have done much better.



I don't know how and I don't care how, but I'm going to awe everyone in medical school. Yes, I'm going to do way better than everyone else, I don't care if I have to raise up the dead for that but I'm going to do it. Oh yes, baby, I am. You scared now? Huh? Huh?



You wait, med school, you just wait for this genius who's going to save lives like she snaps her fingers. (Wait, I don't exactly know how to snap my fingers. Damn.)



Sigh. I was expecting to post something happy and nice since the exams are over and I'm having quite a bit of fun but I typed out all that in a rush before I could even stop myself. So you know what, since I've started ranting, I'm going to continue till I feel better so pardon me.



I can't believe the year has ended so fast. And I can't believe that I'm leaving this shithole already. Tonight will be the last night on my bed here and I can't believe I'm feeling almost sad that I can no longer sleep on this hard, rock-like, on the verge of breaking bed.



Rewind ten months before this, I was complaining about everything. I hated the bed, the bathroom, the whole freaking house actually. I felt dirtier after taking my shower when I first got here. Yes, that's how disgusting the situation of the bathroom is. But then somehow, I got used to it. And I thought I'll never grow on this place but I have. Now, I don't want to leave my shithole. It might be a shithole but it's MY shithole.



God. I'm going to cry now. And I'm so going to miss my friends, my roommate and even my fatass housemate whose laugh that sounds like grating fingernails on a chalkboard. Damn. It's like having a one night stand you know. One fantastic night with someone and then the next morning the person's gone. Only SAM's a year and you have a fantastic year with everybody and then the next year, everyone's gone, heading for different directions.



And no, it does not just stop there. Who has a two minute walk to college, to fastfood and Starbucks coffee? I did. But tomorrow onwards, my life will go back to Cindrella's life before she went to the ball. I sound like some abused child who ran away from home, don't I?



It's not like I don't want to go home. I do. I miss home so much. But to think that it's my last day on this creaking bed is just plain saddening you know. Tomorrow onwards I'm no college student. And I don't know what's in store for me next year. I could end up at some ulu place with no access to Internet, eating Maggi mee every night. Sigh.



And and the SAM results will be in a month plus from now. Which scares me so much too.



I'm packing now and it's so depressing to see everything for almost the last time. Sigh.



I'm about to go to bed and tomorrow, I'm going to leave this place with reluctance and possibly even tears.



Good night, Subang Jaya.