Meet the muttons.

I don't know if any of you guys listen to the radio. Much less 98.7 since it's a Singapore radio station. And there's this show from 8 pm to 12 pm called the Muttons at Midnight which is so so so hilarious.



Okay. Here's the thing. There are two guys, Justin and Vernon, known as the muttons, who are like the funniest people, trust me, they are. And there's this segment on the show called the 'Roast Muttons.' The thing about this segment is people call up the muttons and exchange insults with them. The person who runs out of insults loses and if you win, you get a phone. A very canggih phone, at that.



Cool huh. You insult people and you win a phone. It might sound dumb to you but it's really really funny.



"You're so ugly that when your mum gave birth to you, they called the X-files and CSI crew to arrest you."

"You're so fat that your mum is still giving birth to you."

"You're so fat that when you leave the beach they shouted 'THE COAST IS CLEAR!'"

"You're so stupid you're a kindergarten dropout."

"Justin’s so fat, when he told me his weight, I thought it was the phone number".

"You're so flat, an aeroplane landed on your chest."

"You're so fat that when I swerved to avoid you on the road, I ran out of petrol."



So there. Funny right? Right? It's so catchy, you start playing with everyone else around you. Even my mum was laughing hysterically to all their jokes. And come on, if my mum laughed along, these guys are surely something.



Ooooh. And Vernon can tell really awesome jokes. Here's one.


There are three guys at the toilet. First guy went into the cubicle, and when he came out, he washed his hands and used lots of toilet paper.

Then he looked at the other two guys and said, "I've been taught to be thorough."

Second guy went into the cubicle, came out, washed his hands and used one tiny piece of toilet paper.

He looked at the other two and said, "I've been taught to be environmental-friendly."

Third guy went into the cubicle, and when he came out, he didn't wash his hands, or use the toilet paper.

He then, smirked at the other two guys and said, "I've been taught not to piss on my hands."



Hahahahahahaha.

*hysterically laughing with teary eyes*



Sigh.


The muttons better pay me for this.

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p/s- The results are out on the 17th, which is like day after tomorrow. Damn. It's scarier when you put it like that. And so, this morning my personal message on msn was 17171717171717171717. And Edwin was like, is that your age? wtf man wtf.

Tagged. Yes. Again.

Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.


I was tagged by Adam Gan.


I tag:-

- Everyone
- from
- the
- land
- of
- Zekemekemakakekekuku.



1st : What's your name?

Bennirossiflaragatoshimato from the land of Zekemekemakakekekuku.


2nd : How old are you?

2873 thousand years old.


3rd : What are three electronics you can't live without?

What does electronics mean? From the land where I evolved into a Flaragatoshi, there were no such things as electronics.


4th : Are you amazing?

Yes, I am. I'm the King of all Flaragatoshi's from the land of Zekemekemakakekekuku.


5th : What is the brand of the phone you are using?

What is a phone? Is it the thing all female Flaragatoshi's use to cover the growth on their chests?


6th : What colour is your phone?

I don't use a phone. I am a male Flaragatoshi. Males do not have growths on their chests.


7th : Have you slept in school/college before?

No. I am a virgin.


8th : How long do you online in one day?

Online? I refuse to walk on a line.


9th : How would you describe yourself?

I am a very endowed male. And I have the most charming tail that all woman like.


10th : What's your favourite topic to talk about?

Myself.


11th : Which teacher do you like?

The teacher who gives us sex education.


12th : Who do you think is the most handsome in your class?

Me, of course.


13th : Who are you currently aiming on?

The princess from the land of Malasakatokotaki.


14th : Do you know a lot of your sibling's secrets?

Yes. My brother is not a male.


15th : How do you rate your sibling?

Zero.


16th : Is your sibling gorgeous?

No.


17th : Do you judge people?

Yes. Anybody better than me will be executed.


18th: Have no idea what happen to question 18.

What? Who is so irresponsible? They will have to be thrown out of my kingdom.


19th : Are you lazy to tag people?

No. I tagged everyone in my kingdom.


20th : Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

Please. The phone is a very private property of a female.


21st : What's 2 + 2?

Two plus two.


22nd : Who's your idol?

I am my idol.


23rd : Are you a monster?

No. I am a Flaragatoshi.


24th : Do you play with Barbie dolls?

Of course. Every male in my kingdom must play with one to prove his masculinity.


25th : What was the last movie you watched?

The video of my birth.


26th : What do you think about your English?

I speak the best English in my kingdom.


27th : What do you think about your Bahasa Malaysia?

My Bahasa Malaysia? I do not have a Bahasa Malaysia. I am not married.


28th : Who do you hate?

All my servants.


29th : Do you love yourself?

Definitely.


30th : Blurt out 5 random words.

I am very gay. Oops.

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5 random words from me?

Oh boy. I am crazy.

Tag the lazy bug.

sher: hey you... in a desperate attempt to see a blog post, you've been tagged, see my blog.


Now everybody's desperate for me to blog. Kidding la.



Rules & Regulations:-


Do not copy answers.

The tag questions must be 100% the same.

Tag people after doing tag.

No tagging back.


( Too bad there's nothing on changing the rules and regulations. Hehehe. )



New and improved Rules & Regulations:-


Copying answers are fine but only dimwits would do such things.

The tag questions must be 100% the same.

Tag people but people are not forced to do the tag.

Tag back if you want cause I'm not forced to do the tag.



I shall tag:-


1. Adam la. ( You are forced to do it. You tag me, I tag you back. )

2. DS. ( You don't have to do it la. )

3. Benny. ( Just do it, lazy pig. )

4. Sha-maine. ( You have the choice. )

5. Big Edwin. ( You seriously need to update your blog man. Like, seriously. )

6. Pritasha. ( I'm sorry I never linked you correctly in my blog. And I'm too lazy to change. )

7. Cindy. ( Make your blog public la. I'm too lazy to sign in blogger every time. )

8. Sarah. ( You too seriously need to update your blog more. )

9. And and Wei Wern dearest. ( I miss you.)



Questions:-


1. How do you know 1?

In college. I think the first question he asked me was, "Who do you think is the hottest guy in our class?" And I'm not saying what I answered him.


2. What would you do if you never met 2?

I'd probably have missed out on the best times of my life.


3. What would you do if 3 and 4 dated you?

Benny? I'd have been dead. He would torture me to my grave. Erm, Sha-maine just cannot date me cause, number one, she's a girl and number two, she has the most fabulous boyfriend.


4. Would 5 and 6 make a good couple?

*cough cough* I'm never letting my sister near that guy. Edwin is a great guy but definitely not with my sister.


5. Do you think 7 is attractive?

Yep. Definitely. She's one hot chick.


6. Do you know anything about 8's family?

Her brother's quite cute. ( Oh Sarah, don't kill me. )


7. Tell me something about 9.

Oooh. She's my favourite. She's a smart-ass bitch who loves E coli. ( Hehe.)


8. What language does 2 speak?

English. Sometimes when I have no idea what he's saying, I assume it's Greek.


9. Who is 3 going out with?

Sydney girl.


10. How old is number 4?

Eighteen.


11. 5?

Eighteen too.


12. Who is 6 favourite singer?

Don't know. Kids nowadays, God knows what they listen to.


13. 7?

This girl has wicked tastes. Matt Skiba, I guess.


14. Is 8 single?

Yep. And available too.


15. What is 9 last name?

Tan.


16. Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?

Nope. I'm sorry, Adam. You're a fabulous guy though.


17. Which school does 2 go to?

A fucked-up university. In his words.


18. What do you like about 3?

He's a great guy and he's funny and nice.

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And I'm done here. Hurray. Back to bed.

Your pleasure's set up on slow-release.

Hey blog, how have you been doing? I'm sorry for being so negligent.


I'm sorry your owner prefers sleeping and lazing around and eating than to update you. You do not deserve to be treated such.


Take care, neglected blog.

Plead the fleeting moment to remain.

Dr Santha kept asking me to stand next to her in this one, and I kept refusing. God knows why but I was so scared to stand next to her.

My so-called date and myself.


Ms Param and us.

The rest of the prom pictures are in my facebook profile. I'm too lazy to upload anymore ugly pictures of myself.

Bye bye.

"We read to know that we are not alone." ~C.S Lewis

I've been reading reading reading and I have fallen in love with so many books and I almost forgot how different good books smell and this are good stuff good stuff read and read and smile and laugh and cry and regret they ended so fast cause you wish they lasted longer.


All this while I haven't been just hungry, I've been hungry for books.



"Jennifer Aniston and Her New Man'" I read the words aloud uncertainly. "What new man? Why would she need a new man?"

"Oh yes." Nicole follows my gaze, unconcerned. "You know she split up from Brad Pitt?"

"Jennifer and Brad split?" I stare up at her, aghast. "You can't be serious! They can't have done!"

"He went off with Angelina Jolie. They've got a daughter."

"No!" I wail. "But Jen and Brad were so perfect together! They looked so good and they had that lovely wedding picture and everything...."

"They're divorced now." Nicole shrugs, like it's no big deal.

I can't get over this. Jennifer and Brad divorced. The world is a different place.


Rememeber me?
~Sophie Kinsella



"In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future."


Change of heart
~Jodi Picoult



"Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me? I think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."


Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
~Jonathan Safran Foer



"Women change, Harry," Eamon said, leaning back, getting expensive. "What you have to understand is that at different times in her life, a woman is like the world."

"How's that?"

"Well, from thirteen to eighteen, she's like Africa - virgin territory. From eighteen to thirty, she's like Asia - hot and exotic. From thirty to forty-five, she's like America - fully explored but generous with her resources. From forty-five to fifty-five, she's like Europe - a bit exhausted, a bit knackered, but still with many places of interest. And from fifty five onwards, she's like Australia - everybody knows it's down there somewhere, but very few will make the effort to find it."


Man and wife
~Tony Parsons



And now I'm going to start on One for my baby by Tony Parsons.


I've never been more pleased with myself. =)))

And somehow, this hell is home.

The finals are over. I'm happy but I know I could have done much better.



I don't know how and I don't care how, but I'm going to awe everyone in medical school. Yes, I'm going to do way better than everyone else, I don't care if I have to raise up the dead for that but I'm going to do it. Oh yes, baby, I am. You scared now? Huh? Huh?



You wait, med school, you just wait for this genius who's going to save lives like she snaps her fingers. (Wait, I don't exactly know how to snap my fingers. Damn.)



Sigh. I was expecting to post something happy and nice since the exams are over and I'm having quite a bit of fun but I typed out all that in a rush before I could even stop myself. So you know what, since I've started ranting, I'm going to continue till I feel better so pardon me.



I can't believe the year has ended so fast. And I can't believe that I'm leaving this shithole already. Tonight will be the last night on my bed here and I can't believe I'm feeling almost sad that I can no longer sleep on this hard, rock-like, on the verge of breaking bed.



Rewind ten months before this, I was complaining about everything. I hated the bed, the bathroom, the whole freaking house actually. I felt dirtier after taking my shower when I first got here. Yes, that's how disgusting the situation of the bathroom is. But then somehow, I got used to it. And I thought I'll never grow on this place but I have. Now, I don't want to leave my shithole. It might be a shithole but it's MY shithole.



God. I'm going to cry now. And I'm so going to miss my friends, my roommate and even my fatass housemate whose laugh that sounds like grating fingernails on a chalkboard. Damn. It's like having a one night stand you know. One fantastic night with someone and then the next morning the person's gone. Only SAM's a year and you have a fantastic year with everybody and then the next year, everyone's gone, heading for different directions.



And no, it does not just stop there. Who has a two minute walk to college, to fastfood and Starbucks coffee? I did. But tomorrow onwards, my life will go back to Cindrella's life before she went to the ball. I sound like some abused child who ran away from home, don't I?



It's not like I don't want to go home. I do. I miss home so much. But to think that it's my last day on this creaking bed is just plain saddening you know. Tomorrow onwards I'm no college student. And I don't know what's in store for me next year. I could end up at some ulu place with no access to Internet, eating Maggi mee every night. Sigh.



And and the SAM results will be in a month plus from now. Which scares me so much too.



I'm packing now and it's so depressing to see everything for almost the last time. Sigh.



I'm about to go to bed and tomorrow, I'm going to leave this place with reluctance and possibly even tears.



Good night, Subang Jaya.