Mixed feelings.

Smiles, laughter, sobs, sorrow, screams, pain, pride, hate, envy, joys, embraces, longing, love, romance, wine, kisses, sex and forevers.



Things don't always turn out the way you want them to.

Just stop and stare. Adore and admire.

It does not feel that good to be in my shoes now.

Quintessentially Malaysian.

Chemistry common test was today. And..


Bloody hell.


Screw chemistry. Screw the damn paper.



There I was spending the whole night sitting in front of my chemistry books, cramming facts into my minuscule brain.


2 tsp NESCAFE + 2 tsp C6H12O6 + 2 tsp COFFEEMATE + 1/2 cup hot H20 = 6 and the 1/2 hours of chemistry all night which was also supposed to be equals to answering the paper with ease and scoring good grades.


But no, looking at the paper this morning all I had to say was FUCK. Every single thing there seemed Greek to me and the essay was about some stupid protein-coagulating-crap which I had absolutely no idea on. Shit.


I totally screwed it up.



Anyway, look what I found.

Comparison of cornflake packages: Koko Krunch vs Choc Crunchies, Honey Stars vs Honey Twinkies.



What kind of name Honey Twinkies is supposed to be? Choc Crunchies? WTF? First of all, which idiot actually buys imitation cereals? And stupid Malaysian people so cekap enough to come up with wonderful names like Honey Twinkies. You think people want to buy your stupid imitation products ah? Some more with names like that.


What's next? The imitation of Krispy Kreme would be called Creepy Cunt.


The imitation of Coke will be Cock. "Wanna a sip of Cock-A-Cola?"


Baskin Robbins will become Best-Nya-Robbing.


Way to go, Malaysians.



MALAYSIA BOLEH! Everything also boleh.

Tagged. Damn.

I know I haven't been updating my blog frequently.



I was super busy doing stupid assignments, studying for some stupid tests when all I was meant to do was eating chocolates all day long, reading a nice chick-lit and going ooooh over some hot fictional character while listening to music.



Damn. I'm really stuck in the wrong place.



Anyway, since I've been tagged by Janice and I'm left with no choice since she keeps bugging about doing this tag thingy, I might as well get it done and over with.


Here the crap goes..



5 things I was doing 10 years ago (1998)?


I have no idea. Honestly. Let me see. I was in Primary One then. And....


~ I was making everybody jealous cause I had this coolest bag. It had like rollers and it could, like be rolled around and it was like, rolling. Now, if I would to carry that bag around, God, I wonder how people will look at me.

~ I discovered the Internet. And, boy, was I fascinated by it or what?

~ I made a bet with my friends that if I could climb the monkey bar and stay on the top for 10 minutes straight, they would have to buy me chocolates. But I just never got around doing it. I can't remember why, though. I wonder if the monkey bars are still there and I wonder if I can find my long lost friends and most importantly I wonder if they still sell those little chocolate rings.

~ I told my sister that Michael Jackson went to the same university as my dad and that I was one of the lead singers in Jackson 5. The poor three year old believed me.

~ I cried for a Spaceship game thingy that my parents never bought me. But who cares anyway, I snatched my cousin's and played with it till I got bored of it. Poor boy, stood crying in a corner. I used bully that boy a lot. Wait, I still do, actually.



5 things on my to-do list today.


~ Study Bio. (Shit. Haven't started doing that.)

~ Finish up the Chemistry Social Relevance Task. (Damn. Still halfway.)

~ Clean up my desk and file which is bursting with unwanted notes. (My classmates should know about the file, my only-can-carry-with-two-hands-file. And fish, I haven't started with this either.)

~ Wash the clothes that are piling up. (Shoot. Haven't got this one done yet.)

~ Change my bed sheet from the blue one into that pink one. (I really do not want to change it. I love my current blanket. Reminds me of someone. Heh. But looking at pink colour enhances your sex appeal. Apparently.)

Oh shit. Lots and lots of things to do and I haven't started even with one. Like World Taekwondo Federation aka WTF am I doing here?



5 Snacks I enjoy.


~ Chocolate. Orgasmic chocolate.

~ Ice-cream. I adore Haagen Daaz and Baskin Robbins.

~ Pleasure inducing cakes. Cheese cakes especially.

~ Starbucks' lemingtons.

~ Alah. Basically I enjoy everything. Semua pun aku hantam.



5 Things I would do if I were a billionaire.


~ Get that Aston Martin DBS and show off to Sreerram. Boo hoo hoo. I finally got one. You don't have. HA HA HA HA HA.

~ Buy all the shoes that I ever wanted. And that Jimmy Choos. You were meant to be with me.

~ Buy shares everywhere possible. It's called being smart. Making more money.

~ Build lifts or escalators for Taylor's. Probably buy over Taylor's. And that TER 99.9 is mine.

~ Oh okay. I'll get my sister that Nike softball shoes. It's chicken feet anyway for a billionaire like me.



5 of my bad habits.


~ I talk a little bit too much. Fine. I talk wayyy too much and get everyone around me annoyed. Happy?

~ Procrastinating is my middle name. (See the 5 things on my to-do list today. There's more than 5, actually. None which I've started with.)

~ I spend money like I print them. How I wish I was loaded.

~ I bully my sister and my cousins a lot. It's not a bad habit actually. It's a talent. Which only people like me can master. And I bitch about people way too much too.

~ I argue with people a lot. I love to win these arguments. Even when I lose, I never admit that I was wrong in the first place. Yes, I'm stubborn and I merajuk very fast plus I never say sorry. Never.


Hate me if you want. But reality is, all of you would die to be me.



5 places I have lived.


~ Johor Bahru.

~ Johor Bahru.

~ Johor Bahru.

~ Johor Bahru.

~ And oh yea, Subang Jaya for now.



5 jobs I've had.


~ Banker. You know the one in the Monopoly game where you handle the money. Yes, I cheated a lot, by the way. Pity my cousins, they never did figure out why I kept having the most properties in the darn game.

~ Been the tissue lady. Where I provide tissue for all tissue-less people.

~ Hairdresser. When I used to tie up my cousin's hair and put coloured clips on them. And laugh at him when I'm all done.

~ Calculator. I have calculated things for the lazy people who turn to me even when they have a battery operated calculator next to them. And no, I am not trying to brag here.

~ I have been a student for the whole of my life. Never was good in the job. Never did do my homework or pass them up. Never hire me again.



5 people I tag.


~ Everyone who reads this, you're tagged.

~ Won't have anything against you even if you don't do it.

~ Tan Wei Wern, you're left with no other choice. Since you're at Perth, I'll give you time.

~ Sherene Anne, you too have no choice.

~ Muahahaha. I'm a cruel chick.



Damn la. The stupid common tests are coming and I'm just not even bothering.


I. AM. SO. GONNA. DIE.


*Panicking and hurrying off to complete her undone assignments and load up her brains with boring chemistry and biology.*


*Wait. Before that she shall go read some blogs and waste time. The rest can be taken care of later. One total professional procrastinator, this girl is.*

The torturer, the tortured

The heavy lock unbolted,
My fellow companion gloated,
The limp figure of a young girl,
Her hair hung loose dishevelled,
The sickening sound of the body being dragged along,
Broke the silence that hung so long.


Confident, inhuman footsteps were heard,
I experienced the familiar stomach lurch,
I splashed a bucket of freezing water on her, a dreaded daily routine,
General Yamashita did not even blink,
Her peaceful sleep ended,
To her, help was not rendered,

Her first sight was the menacing eyes which paralyzed her stirring fear,
The girl’s inward screams, he did not hear,
Her eyes registered terror,
Wishing she had been born in a land fairer
Eagerly, my partner slammed her onto the cross,
And tied her using salvage force.


I reached for the offending whip,
With a sweaty palm I tightly gripped,
He trained his cold-blooded eyes on me and gave a brisk nod,
I knew it wasn’t my fault,
Let this end soon, I prayed to God,

I saw her glance away,
Desperately asking for someone to take her away,
The situation in reality was so hopeless,
Nobody could fight her fate, so tragic, so helpless,
And neither could I.


She seemed to be recalling the fond memories of the past,
And knew that she would not last,
I raised my whip,
And brought it down on her mercilessly with a wrist flick,
Silent tears rolled down her pale cheeks,
I cried silently, I shouldn’t torture for kicks,

The brave determination in her eyes,
Made me heavily sigh,
I handed the whip to my partner now insane,
His beastly slashing made me look away,
And the expression he had was gay,
General Yamashita held up his hand,
Signaling us to stop, revealing bloody bands.


From his mouth he withdrew the cigar,
Casually, he stubbed the cigar to her neck,
And twisted its end into bits,
Her face was expressionless,
The reaction was a first,
It was sheer bravery,
A determination gallery,

The general stripped her down to bra,
He turned to me,
And demanded some dirty salt in glee,
With trembling hands, I handed him a rusty tin,
Slowly, lingering, his fingers sprinkled pinches of salt on her wound,
Her much awaited screams filled the room soon,
Colour drained from her face,
As if she’s floating in a haze.


General Yamashita was satisfied at last,
He had her all he wanted,
With a dismissive wave,
He walked away,
Fainter and fainter his dreaded footsteps grew,
They dragged her body so frail,
Leaving behind a thin blood trail…

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus

Wouldn't it be easier to develop a long term, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy, if he was a Labrador Retriever?



Why is it so hard with human guys?



Okay. Analysing time.



Let's say a guy named, Sirius asked a girl named, Nicole out to a movie. She accepts and they both have the time of their lives.


A few nights later, he asks her out to dinner, and again they both have a pretty good time. They continue to see each other regularly and soon, neither is seeing anybody else.


Then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought crosses Nicole's mind. And she says, "Do you realise that we have been seeing each other for six months already?"


Silence fills the car. To Nicole, the silence is too loud to take. She thinking, "Gee, it must have bothered him that I said that. Maybe he feels confined by this relationship. Or maybe he thinks I'm pushing him into some kind of obligation."


Sirius is thinking, "Gosh. Six months." And Nicole is thinking, "Hey, I'm not sure if I want this relationship either. Where am I heading to? Towards marriage? Children?"


And Sirius is thinking, "Six months... That means, let see... October, last year, when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... Let me check the odometer.. Whoa. Damn it. I'm wayyy overdue for an oil change here."


And Nicole is thinking, "He's upset. I know it. I can see it on his face. Maybe, he wants more from our relationship. Yes, that must be it."


Sirius is thinking, "What the-? I'm going to get them to look at the transmission again. I don't give a damn what those assholes are doing to say. These damn thing is just not shifting right. I paid those morons so much and this thing is moving like a garbage truck.


Nicole is thinking, "He's angry. I don't blame him for that. I'd be angry too. I'm just not giving him enough in this relationship. I'm so stupid."


And Sirius is thinking, "I know what are they going to say. They are probably going to say that it's only a three month warranty!"


Nicole is thinking, "I'm too stupid, just to stupid." Sirius is thinking, "Warranty?? I'll give them a warranty!"


"Sirius." Nicole says aloud.


"What?" says Sirius.


"I know you think I'm a fool, don't you?" Nicole says.


"No!" Sirius immediately replies, glad to know the right answer.


"Sirius, do you feel the same way about time?"


"Yes." He hesitates then answers, not knowing what she even meant.


Then, Sirius takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul weeping till dawn. Sirius, on the other hand, reaches home, tears open a packet of chips, turns on the television and immediately becomes deeply involved in a tennis match between two Czech players he never heard of.


The next day, Nicole will call her friend and both the girls will talk for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyse everything he said and she said. They will continue discussing about this subject for weeks not coming to a definite answer.



So, you see, this is not about different wavelengths here. It's like different planets from completely different solar systems.


Guys have a guy brain, an organ that can only solve problems. It's not comfortable with nebulous concepts like love, need and trust.


But what we women think, is that, how can a guy see a girl day after day, night after night, and not be thinking about the relationship they're having?


A guy in a relationship is like an ant standing on the top of a truck tyre. The ant is aware that something large is there, but cannot even dimly comprehend what it is all about. And if the truck starts moving and the tyre starts to roll, the ant will sense something important is happening but right up until he rolls to the bottom and is squashed, the only thought in his tiny brain will be HUH?



If Nicole continues to keep quiet about the relationship, so will Sirius because he has a guy's brain. She has to keep reminding him that there is a relationship and that he is committed to it.


If not, there it goes.


Even so, how much Nicole reminds Sirius and even if it penetrates his tiny brain some day, all he can do about it is tell his guy friends,






"Nicole and I, we have, ahhhh....... ummm.. we.. we have... this thing."

Sexuality.

Thanks to Edwin and Sha-maine and their almost-deaf-ears because that's what inspired me to blog about this.



"You know Zack's friend?"


"Huh? Sex friend?"

.
.
.

"Four."


"Huh? Fuck?

.
.
.

No. I'm not going to blog about sex.



It's sexuality.


The sexuality that we all have so much hype about. Pointing almost at every boy saying, "I think he's gay."


And poor boys, because when they hold hands, we immediately label them as gay not bothering even if the guy is holding his father's hands.



Heterosexuals.


~A person who gets attracted to the opposite gender.


Normal people, as I would label.


Or, a person who has yet to realise he's gay, according to somebody I shall not mention.


Heterosexuals are what most of us are. A person building images of Santa Claus in a surgical mask would be called a heterosexual too, I think. Hehe. An inside joke.



And then, we have the Homosexuals.


~By far the most common after heteros, these people enjoy seeing their own sex naked.


They find the idea of guy-on-guy or girl-on-girl rather appealing.


Weirdest people of all, if you ask me. I mean, kissing a guy rocks, but kissing a girl? Can't even bring myself to think about it. Odd people. Really really odd people.



The Bisexuals.


~The hippies and freestylers. They like both. Their sex and the opposite sex.


Makes me wonder how desperate can these people get.


"She's hot and God, her boyfriend is too."



Worst of all, we have the Pansexuals.


~Freaking sex maniacs. They like both sexes and well, EVERYthing else too. As in animals and inanimate objects too.


Tell me, how more desperate can anyone get?


"Ooooh. The dog was good. Now, time to try on the carrots."



The most nuts of them all, the Asexuals.


~They abstain from reproducing completely. Or artificial reproduction.


Normal people look at good-looking people and say, "He/she is sexy." They look at nothing say, "That's sexy."


Sickos.



Then, some guys are Metrosexuals.


~A straight man who embraces the modern lifestyle, i.e. refined tastes in clothing, excessive use of designer hygiene products, etc. Doesn't mind guys fantasizing about him but find the idea of guy-on-guy repulsive.


These people get excited when you tell them, "Hey. A guy just said that you have nice six-packs." But they find gays weird. They think it's stupid to make out with the same sex but they like it when the same sex tell them something nice.


Weird, too. But it's hard to be a metrosexual. Not many guys fuss about clothes ALOT.



Finally, the Ubersexuals.


~These Ubersexuals are the epitome of manhood with the understanding of all the sophistication and fine things in life.


Ubersexuals closer to home include,




my boyfriend.

.

.

.

Sigh. Bloody lame post.

Hating responsibility but not having the choice.

Have you ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders?


Of course you have not.


But have you ever felt the weight of a thousand things leaning on you?



I have. And I'm glad I got through it unscathed. Messy, but complete. Imperfect, but done.


For now.



P.S- I'll be standing for the next coming elections. Vote for me, people. You will be able to have camwhored pictures of yourself in your identity cards.