A reply to 'Tharani is a bitch', by WeiWern.

In approximately four days, I'll be leaving for KL.


And in five days, the hectic schedule I thought I'd be free from for a few months, will repeat.


I don't like blogging about all this either and I wonder if anyone even enjoys reading it.


But then again, I just have to pour out all my anger, frustration, guilt, slight joy and excitement, hatret, pain and discomfort.




I can't believe I'll be leaving the place I grew up in and will soon live with a bunch of unknown girls which I don't think will make as good friends as I already have.


To make things worse and to make me feel even bad about everything, WeiWern just had to write a whole post in her blog about how evil I am.


Plus, she actually called me a bitch.


But I don't blame her.


When your good friend suddenly tells you that she's are leaving you all of a sudden and there might not be any possibility of you meeting her again you definitely would feel like yelling, BITCH!


Just like what I did when she told me she was leaving JB to go live with her dad in KL which is miles and miles away. And the look on her face when she said that was so unreadable.


"I'll be going to KL, Tharani."


I was like, "What?!" And she just stood there with a blank look.


I cried and then realised that she wouldn't come back and that was the end of our relationship and so what if there was the phone and Internet, nothing would be the same then to meet her and talk to her face-to-face.


But somehow or rather, I learned to live without her and in two months or so, I found her sitting there in tuition looking all so serene and innocent. The girl I thought I might never meet again was there and everything was back to normal.


And so, I thought it was.


We thought that we will always be friends, there for each other and we promised to do Form Six together until my mum just had to say, "Doing Form Six is a waste of time, I'm going to enrol you in college."


It was like a wave splashing and washing away everything. Going to college was not something I had ever planned to do or even thought about even for a split-second.


And there was my mum telling me to move on and that college means a better future and that I'm already one year younger ( I'm only sixteen but completed SPM, by the way ) and STPM would be longer route so doing pre-u would be a smarter thing and so on and so forth.


She didn't wait for my answer though. She went along, paid the registration fees and now she's saying, "Do you want me to lose the money I paid?"


Of course, I don't. Although if she willingly withdraws, I shall not say anything.


But as for now, I have to go by plans. Which means I'll won't be seeing any of my friends except for a few who are at the same college as I am but the key point is, I won't be seeing WeiWern.


I feel so bad for ditching her but I just have to remind her that she ditched me once too.


Now, we're equal. *Evil grin*


But if only it was that easy.


We pledged to be best buddies. We wanted to be friends until we were six feet under the ground. We wanted to find for husbands together, have kids at the same time so that they could be friends too, push prams together and bitch about our husband's secretaries together.


(All these feel so childish now. How old were we when we wanted to do that again?)


See the past tense there? I wish I could say, we want to, rather than, we wanted to. But I don't know if we really can do all that now.


I can't believe I'm saying this but, there's the phone and the the Internet. The exact same thing you said when you left me.


But it's not the same, is it? You came back after that, I might not.


Don't you ever forget me. Don't let this friendship we had just die off like that.


Goodbye, my friend. Be strong and don't become cappati. (An inside joke.)

Holidays are over. College is bound.

Holidays being over is one thing.



College being the future is another.



None of which I'm keen on.



Except for the part where my dad had to get me a new laptop prior to joining college.


But that's a completely unrelated matter.



The most crucial thing here is that I'm in a dilemma now.



I think I'm reaching mid-life crisis.


At sixteen.

.

.

.

.

.

On the brighter side of things, I just made the tastiest discovery. Potato chips should be eaten like this:


1. Lick off all the salt on the potato chip.

2. Make sure that there is no trace of salt on the potato chip and it's slightly but not too soggy.

3. Pop it into your mouth and let it melt.


Best if done with Pringles. But this method is definitely not encouraged if you want to try it with the last potato chip and satisfaction is not exactly guaranteed either.


I have no idea why but this is how I've been eating Pringles for the past few days.


Must be a symptom of the mid-life crisis.

.

.

.

.

.

You must be wondering why I never said anything about the trip to KL. Well, I just found out that the reason my parents brought me there is to enrol me in college.


Translation- No more holidays.


Also means- A new beginning.


A scary new beginning for that matter.



Everything feels like crap to me now.


My hair is crap.


My feet feel like crap and it's because of the shoes bought at Mid Valley.


No wonder they were on sale.


Even the t-shirts I bought excitedly looks like crap now.


And to make things worse, this post also looks very crap.



It must be the mid-life crisis.



Maybe I should start on writing a will.



Are the Gods listening?



P.S- I'll have my cousin to thank for the help in getting my new laptop being the nut I am when it comes to technology.

Of the Ah-Beng and Ah-Lian blogs

What is their problem, tell me?


I have the least idea of what's going through their minds and I don't know what is their damn problem. Why do they even blog, tell me?


To show off? But what is it do they have in their blogs that people would want to read?


Nothing, I tell you, nothing.



They tend to post the most stupid things with their so-called Ing-ge-lish.



Today ar I very the sien. I listen to the iTunes and clicking my mousie again and again and surfing the net also cannot see nice nice thing wan.


Haiya I vely lazy leh. Lazy to blog aledi. Got no inspilation wan liao.


I lovE MusiX Very mUch And No bOdy caN stop Me to Love It... eSpeciaLLy EngLish SOng... I AlSo Like tO BikE My SouLMate SkuTEr.


Get it? I don't.


(Blogger's note: If you're actually feeling threatened by what I've already said about these ah-beng and ah-lian bloggers, then don't read on because there's more to come.)


It is like a trend for them to post these kind of things especially the one with the alternating capital letters. I wonder how people actually even read stuff like that.


And they just love to say things like:


Haiz.


Sobx.


Muackz.


Lolx.


What is it with the letter 'x' and 'z' at the end of almost every word?



And have you noticed the new words these people come up with nowadays?


Fugly.


Shizz.


Gaawh.


Rawrrh.


I'd be glad if someone actually cared to tell me what these words mean.


It's either that I'm an extremely inexperienced blogger and these are the trends nowadays and I'm missing out on the coolest way of blogging.


Or that I'm actually normal and these people are the abnormal ones because the word fugly and haiz is non-existent.



What if I tell you that what you've seen is just a quarter of the real thing?


If you flinched, you're just like me. Normal, I think, I hope.


If their school teacher actually reads their blog filled with terrible, horrendous Ing-ge-lish like that, they'll will certainly get a huge tight slap right across their faces. Something that my mum would definitely do.



And check this one out:


Like, oh my god. You won't believe what just happened. A guy, like, totally made a move on me! He was like, totally ewww. I was, like, just sitting there all coolly and nicely and he was like, "Hey, can I like buy you a drink?" and I was like "Wateva." I didn't accept the drink la, of course but can you believe it? Lolx. Too bad he was, like real, fugly and not a hottie. Sobx.


Do you feel for her? She makes her blog sound like she's talking to one of her girlfriends.


I'm like, so pissed with my boyfriend. I think he's so, cheating on me. Can you believe it? Guys are like the, totally weirdest creatures on earth. ( I swear copied it directly from an unknown person's blog before any of you call me names.) Is my bf, like gone mad or something? I can't believe he is like, so rude to me. Like, what the heck? I'm, like, his sweetie, for the god's sake.



Tell me again, that I'm the normal one here.


It's not only about their Ing-ge-lish, it is also about the way they like to post shameless cam-whoring pictures of themselves, with the 'peace' sign, pouting their lips and doing the weirdest pose you've ever seen.


Really ah-beng/ah-lian, I tell you.


But what rights have I got to say about them. They are accepted in their own society and people still do read their blogs just like what I did in the past hour.


But what I did is not counted though, I was doing some research in order to become more experienced in blogging when I actually found a whole string of such bloggers.


And the funniest thing is they are all linked to each other, the tags in their chatbox are also extremely ah-beng/ah-lien -ish and almost all their posts sounds alike in an ah-beng/ah-lien way.


Fascinating, don't you think?



Well, what I actually wanted to blog about in the first place before I got so carried away was that I wouldn't be able to blog for the next whole week or so.


And, wait, it's not because I got no inspilation wan liao or that I'm too lazy to blog aledi.


It's because I'll be leaving for KL tomorrow.


And I'm informing you of this because I have this faint vision in my mind of people visiting my blog and seeing that I have no updates and then feeling so sad. It's like I make people's day with the entertainment I provide through blogging.


Okay. I'm beginning to sound like one of the ah-lian bloggers.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

We are starting to live in an ah-beng/ah-lian world, I tell you. Their popularity is rising and soon they might take over the world for all you know.



~You shall see.

Tickling your funny bones

It's true what they say, small innocent things bring a smile larger than a joke. Check this ridiculous signboards and you'll see why.




Is it the sign with the sharp edges or the signboard? Anyway, just be careful in case you want to hug the signboard or something, it might prick you.




Parents, take notice of this. Ignore your chidren and they will be swinging across bars and jumping through rings like professionals.





Safety warning. I mean, you really would not want to fall into the animal's cages because if they eat your disgustingly poisonous body, they'll die! And the next day, the headlines of the papers will be, "LION DIES AFTER EATING THE STOMACH OF A MAN WHICH SUPPOSEDLY CONTAINED CHICKEN AND HAM SANDWICH."

Left! No, keep to the right! Wait, turn to the left. I mean, to your right! What the-? CRASH!!!!!

Erm. It's true, actually. Maybe they should put up such a sign in all public toilets. It'll definitely make a huge difference.

Cigarette buds. On the floor. Burning customers hands and knees. Is this bar for really short people or something?

The best reason I've ever came across. Students should use this method, really. "Teacher, my homework is unfinished because it is incomplete."

This is my all-time favourite.

(Ah, leganya.) Finally, owning a licence to fart. We all should get a PhD in fartology. To learn the art of farting in all aspects. Just wonderful.

I have got nothing to say. But don't you think that almost every guy who sees this will imagine this poor child fifteen years later?

Say "TAK NAK" if you want to end up like the 400 000 people who died from cigarettes.

Say "NAK" if you want to be like 40 million other people who are enjoying themselves with Malboro!

This is what I would call boob stereotyping. How unfair is that? Anyway, for the A's, stay away!

Apparently, there would be water on the roads when it rains. A great discovery, don't you think? But, seriously, I think this signboard reminds me a lot of myself especially when my brain doesn't function so well.

(-_-)"

Social networks. The greatest revolution, no?

Why do we join such social networking sites like Facebook?




Why is it that only after joining such sites we realise how it has been swiftly swirling the drain in terms of exciting us?




Facebook was so big a deal that I wanted to join it months ago. But to prevent the distraction and for the fact that SPM was in like only months away, I waited.


And guess what, I joined it during SPM. In between the hectic schedule, the exams and while burning the midnight oil, I decided to do some social networking!


That is what sites like this can do to people. It gets you so hooked.




You don't exactly join it for its main purpose either, that is to make friends, but you just go for it. Why? When after all, friends you make in such sites are your everyday friends. But, of course, this is an exception for some social outcasts who tend to make lots of unwanted friends on such sites because they just can't do it in reality. (I'm just randomly saying this and it's not because I'm trying to point out someone in case any of you terperasaan.)




Face the fact, most of us join these sites mainly to post cute and pretty pictures of us silently wishing some hot guy falls for us.


Again not pointing out anybody, but some like to post pictures of their so-called six-pack thinking that girls might drool over them.


And then, one more thing we love to do, drop stupid, unwanted chain testimonials just to irritate our poor friends.


Or to put up lots of I Am Going To Kill You kind of messages on your boyfriend's profile because he's cheating on you and worse of all, on some innocent girl's profile for stealing your boyfriend which they never did.




Isn't this why most people join social networking sites? When these sites are actually created for better reasons, we misuse them by doing funny things such as showing off how emo or gothic we are. And worse of all, some guys go to the extend of putting a thick layer of eyeliner on themselves in an attempt to look like the My Chemical Romance just to take a picture.


Not pointing fingers, again.




We should be glad such sites like Friendster, MySpace and Facebook were created. They weren't when my mum was at school and the result? She can't possibly remember any one of her friend's names. Which is why when my mum sees a familiar face, I usually stand at a corner pretending to be interested in something stupid, praying desperately that my mum would remember her friend's name.


So be thankful you wouldn't be embarassing your kids in the future and join Facebook!


It's not that great a revolution but certainly outbeats so many other social networks on the Internet.




I'm not exactly having much fun at Facebook though. It makes you selfish. (I typed it as shellfish first. God, I just love stupid typos.)


Where was I? Yes, I'd rather post some birthday grafitti on a friend's wall than calling her up and personally wishing her now. I rather send Christmas wishes through testimonials and fake Christmas presents through Facebook.


So fine, social networking sites do make you into a crappy person but then again.


They are cool. Especially Facebook. Maybe it is a not-so-nice thing to go around giving people bodyslams, putting dryer holes in their underwears, giving them wedgies, stealing their underwears and so on and so forth. But it is certainly fun.


It's not like you can do them in reality, can you?


I just love doing ridiculous things like that.


Wasting time.


Doing pointless stuff just for self-satisfaction.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And I know for a fact that I'm not the only one.

The craziest attempt of a love letter

My most pitiful attempt to outbeat Shakespeare's love. The letter I scribbled in a total trance after being taught the Sonnet 18 two years ago.




Dear lover,




The beauty of your eyes is comparable to the explosion of constellations. No matter how many lives will be lost, it would be worth it for the beauty contained within those speckled glassy sphere-like things that some humans have began to call "eyes".





Your lips is as beautiful and tender as tuna. Although the smell of tuna is not satisfying, its juiciness is incomparable. You are aware that millions buy tuna sandwiches each day and to think that I don't have to buy them makes me euphoric. I'm forever grateful to you for introducing me to the loveliness of tuna.




Your hair is as smooth as my skin. You do know how smooth my skin is and you must be elated for your hair is just as smooth. As my fingers run through your hair, the feelings is beyond words can express. The silky feeling is just fantastic.




You are the most wonderful ostrich egg amongst all the eggs of the world. If you knew ostrich eggs like I know them, you would know that an ostrich egg is larger and has the most exquisite yolk. While others would try to inject you with growth hormones, I refuse. My love requires no genetic modification.




You are the rescue boat to my indigenous islander unsatisfied with her living conditions. Unhappy with the limited food options of mango and pomegranate, I had eaten the island's former inhabitants.




Rendered alone by my own desperate and gluttonous actions, I ranted my frustrations to a nearby palm tree as I resentfully pooped on bamboo leaves. I intrinsically knew there must be more civilized ways of defecating. Your love has brought me the toilet.




You have changed me into a whole new civilized person. No more a cannibal, I've learned the finest things of life. You made me into a better person. Now you're everything to me. Without you, there is no me.




Plainly speaking,


You're the shoelaces to my shoes.


You're the hem to my skirt.


You're the chemical that showed me romance.


You're the blink to my 182.


You're the one and only.





Love,

Your lover.



















So, have you stopped laughing?



★P.S- Because life's like that

Lord Of The Rings? Isn't that the one about the boy wizard?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have no idea what to say because you don't know what is everyone talking about?



And you feel so stupid to live because you never heard of anything and everything that seems to be the main topic of every conversation you're in?



When everyone is talking about books, movies and current affairs, you just sit there like a lump because you haven't read any of those books, watched any of those movies and current affairs make you want to scream.



Well, you have a problem, all right. And it's not about your intellect, which I'm sure is keen. It's your tragic character flaw -you're too honest.



Candour is a crippling deficiency in every polite social discourse.



Don't get me wrong because I'm not advocating lying. I'm talking about an art here, an art akin to bullfighting. A successful matador of the dinner table can dodge, weave and dance on the edge of disaster.



I'm sure you have seen people with the skill of lying. Like for example, if you asked him, "Have you read 'The Bartimaeus Trilogy'?" he would say, "Not recently." Of course, he never darn read it at all, but why disrupt a perfectly congenial conversation?



That's because he doesn't want to be left out. He doesn't want to admit it and lose out in a conversation. But it's true, why should you be left out? Why should let someone else make you sound stupid like you never know anything at all? Especially when he's Mr-Know-It-All.



So my advice is, bluff your way throughout the whole conversation but not in a of-course-she's-bullshitting kind of way but in a smarter she-knows-what-she's-talking-about way.



Sometimes, at one point of a conversation, someone is bound to turn to you and ask, "What do you think?"



But you don't want to say what you think because you haven't really been paying attention. You've actually been thinking about the handsome guy you met.



Do what I usually do. Say, "Depends."



And if you bluff your way through smartly, then no one will realise how stupid you actually are and will begin to nod vigorously at everything you say.


.

.

.

.

.

.


Other than something about electrons moving in shells, the only thing that I remember that Niels Bohr said is, "There are trivial truths and the great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true."

What wouldn't I trade for a time machine?

You were promised a free ticket, free popcorn and free drinks. So you decided to go along and watch the movie, Enchanted even though it wasn't a movie you were looking forward to.


As soon as you enter the cinema, you start to regret even more.


True love? What the heck.


And you look at your watch time and time again. But you sit there waiting for it to end soon when you start to realise that you're enjoying it.


The popcorn taste like rubber, the guy behind you keeps kicking the back of your seat but you are enjoying every single detail of the movie that you couldn't care less about what's happening around you.


The movie ends and you wish it hadn't because somehow or rather, you were reminded about the past. About how you were also once a kid who believed in fairytales.


You walk out of the movie theatre and start to ponder about how growing older had made you into a totally different person.



You aren't the same girl who wanted to marry a prince and live happily ever after.

You aren't the same girl who wanted a fairy godmother.

You aren't the same girl who wanted to have dwarfs, pixies, and elves as friends.

And it's because you grew up to face the reality.

All you need now is a contenting life which you know that all that above will not promise you.

Because it's fantasy. It's stupid.

Because you grew up.



As a kid, you wished for a wishing wand to fast forward time, to make yourself grow older.

Because you never knew then what adolescence would bring you.

But now you want a time machine to turn back time to make you a kid again.

So you could enjoy life without having to worry about exams, homework etc.

So you could enjoy childhood again.



As a kid, even reading peter and jane seemed like a chore to you because you never knew about the existence of renaissance, reformation and revolutions.

Getting the answer right to five plus six made you scream with joy and that's because you never knew about the existence of differentiation and integration.

But now you do, which is why you want to turn back time.

You were living in your own litte world then.

A nice little world where Mr. Bean could make you laugh.

But you are old now and you have to face the cruel world.

You have to wake up and smell the coffee.

This is the real world.



Childhood, teenage life. Two totally different worlds.

It makes you think what would adulthood bring you.

And you shudder just thinking about it.


.

.

.

.


On a completely unrelated note, the class party was a total blast. Even though many of them weren't able to make it, I just thank God I wasn't one of those idiots.

The Grand Opening

First post.




Testing.




I've just realised that I simply cannot cramp a whole lifetime's worth of memories into this minuscule brain of mine, which is why I finally decided to create a blog.



So this blog will be like a trash can but I do not exactly intend to write too much about stuff that happens in my everyday life.



It will be more like a platform for all my rants about everything that goes around which in the end, comes around. Mostly about my random thoughts that can often make people very confused.




Like right now, as I'm writing this, there's this thought bubble up on my head reading,




Why am I writing something here when none knows that I've created a blog?


Isn't the whole point of blogging is to be read by people?




Anyway, congratulations to those of you who have somehow managed to find your way here.



It is only now that I finally discovered this entire realm of blogging and it's a wonder to think that memories do not always fade away.



Not when you have a blog.



So, kudos to whoever came up with this great discovery.



My first footstep to whole new world.




Endless passion here.