A reply to 'Tharani is a bitch', by WeiWern.

In approximately four days, I'll be leaving for KL.


And in five days, the hectic schedule I thought I'd be free from for a few months, will repeat.


I don't like blogging about all this either and I wonder if anyone even enjoys reading it.


But then again, I just have to pour out all my anger, frustration, guilt, slight joy and excitement, hatret, pain and discomfort.




I can't believe I'll be leaving the place I grew up in and will soon live with a bunch of unknown girls which I don't think will make as good friends as I already have.


To make things worse and to make me feel even bad about everything, WeiWern just had to write a whole post in her blog about how evil I am.


Plus, she actually called me a bitch.


But I don't blame her.


When your good friend suddenly tells you that she's are leaving you all of a sudden and there might not be any possibility of you meeting her again you definitely would feel like yelling, BITCH!


Just like what I did when she told me she was leaving JB to go live with her dad in KL which is miles and miles away. And the look on her face when she said that was so unreadable.


"I'll be going to KL, Tharani."


I was like, "What?!" And she just stood there with a blank look.


I cried and then realised that she wouldn't come back and that was the end of our relationship and so what if there was the phone and Internet, nothing would be the same then to meet her and talk to her face-to-face.


But somehow or rather, I learned to live without her and in two months or so, I found her sitting there in tuition looking all so serene and innocent. The girl I thought I might never meet again was there and everything was back to normal.


And so, I thought it was.


We thought that we will always be friends, there for each other and we promised to do Form Six together until my mum just had to say, "Doing Form Six is a waste of time, I'm going to enrol you in college."


It was like a wave splashing and washing away everything. Going to college was not something I had ever planned to do or even thought about even for a split-second.


And there was my mum telling me to move on and that college means a better future and that I'm already one year younger ( I'm only sixteen but completed SPM, by the way ) and STPM would be longer route so doing pre-u would be a smarter thing and so on and so forth.


She didn't wait for my answer though. She went along, paid the registration fees and now she's saying, "Do you want me to lose the money I paid?"


Of course, I don't. Although if she willingly withdraws, I shall not say anything.


But as for now, I have to go by plans. Which means I'll won't be seeing any of my friends except for a few who are at the same college as I am but the key point is, I won't be seeing WeiWern.


I feel so bad for ditching her but I just have to remind her that she ditched me once too.


Now, we're equal. *Evil grin*


But if only it was that easy.


We pledged to be best buddies. We wanted to be friends until we were six feet under the ground. We wanted to find for husbands together, have kids at the same time so that they could be friends too, push prams together and bitch about our husband's secretaries together.


(All these feel so childish now. How old were we when we wanted to do that again?)


See the past tense there? I wish I could say, we want to, rather than, we wanted to. But I don't know if we really can do all that now.


I can't believe I'm saying this but, there's the phone and the the Internet. The exact same thing you said when you left me.


But it's not the same, is it? You came back after that, I might not.


Don't you ever forget me. Don't let this friendship we had just die off like that.


Goodbye, my friend. Be strong and don't become cappati. (An inside joke.)