Life with a bunch of barbarians.

Include me in that bunch too.



Tharani: I've no freaking idea what to blog about.


My housemate: Blog about your charming housemates la.



*Names have been edited due to privacy purposes*



Drum rolling...


Introducing...



Dhev- the most responsible person in the house.

"Wash your dishes, Tharani! Sweep the house, Tharani! You couch potato!"

It's like having a mother at home, seriously. But she's this fun, loving, jovial person who can make everyone laugh.

And the things she says without thinking.

"I'm going to save a life. (pauses for effect) I'm going to abort a child." And she gives you this innocent look like as if she had said something so noble.

"Oh. Oh. Sorry. I mean adopt." And she gives you an embarrassed smile.

Another thing I love about her is that, she is a worse nut than me when it comes to technology. She has no idea how bluetooth even works. When I wanted to send her a song to her laptop via bluetooth, she looked at me and said,

"How did the name of my laptop get into yours?"

Innocent look.

Realises what she said.

Embarrassed smile.

That's Dhev.



Drum beats even harder..


And there stands VJ at the corner in a blue striking pyjamas.



VJ- the trying-to-be-innocent-girl in the house.

"Ramgit (the guy in her class) has three legs. Two normal sized ones and one retarded shorter one in between."

Then, she looks at you, tries defending herself by saying,

"What?"

And she gives her famous puppy-dog face.

What I most love about her is we think alike. Not the three legs kind of thing but in such a way that we can complete each other's sentences most of the time.

And her mum's cakes. Are. The. Best. Cakes. In. The. World. No offence to my mum, just in case she reads this.



Drum rolls more vigorously and the drum breaks..


There's Sean lying down in fatigue.



Sean- the girl who sleeps in the same room as me.

"That guy is so f-ing hot!"

"I'm like so f-ing tired today."

"What the f-ing hell?"

That does not explain much about her actually. Because she isn't anything like what she sounds like. I find her very interesting because we have the same taste in books.

"Oh. Isn't Luke Brandon sooo cute?"

And there's me jumping up and down saying, "Yes! Yes!"

(Luke Brandon's this hot fictional character that every girl wants to marry, in case you don't know.)

We sleep next to each other and is quite close to revealing each other's deepest and darkest secrets.

And that's the famous Sean.



No more drum beats. It broke, remember?


There's Ju-on.



Ju-on- the long-haired girl who shares my room too.

Nothing much to say about her. I'm not going to bitch about her as that's the only thing I'm able to do.

Apart from dropping her long hair in the toilet and brushing her teeth in the kitchen sink, she's pretty nice to talk to when you have no one else to chat with.



And now, meet Esterification.



Esterification- this girl who lives in the last room.

Pretty girl with long brown hair and is a pro in computers.

Always on the phone with I-wonder-who.

Has an amazing voice unlike Ju-on who still continues singing in the toilet even when she knows she sounds like a crow.

Oh. And did I mention that Esterification smokes? It's legal since she's eighteen but.. She SMOKES as in literally smokes with a cigarette and all.

Her habit sometimes come in handy though. Like when you need a lighter to light up some candles or when you need to do your LAN project which requires video taping people with bad habits.



The last but definitely not the least is Elainos Barbaross.



Elaine- a senior in the house.

Has an Indian boyfriend whom she keeps arguing with.

"There's no third person in this relationship, Arvin!"

The next day, you see a Chinese dude sending her home.

This explains everything about her and I don't wish to continue.



And so, I conclude.


This is life in where I live. You'll turn into a barbarian living with them, really.


A culture-shock, I tell you.


But what do I say. I have to bear with it all for JUST one year.


JUST ONE YEAR, that is.

Of Today.

Yes. I'm back.


Finally.


With Internet connection at where I live.



So many people asked me about college life and how things are here.


So, this is how today went by-



Alarm rang at six in the morning. Couldn't care less about waking up. Felt like spending the whole day in bed. The rock hard bed which I can't believe I'm getting used to.



Pressed the snooze button three times before I finally decided to wake up. Got into the dirtiest toilet anybody could ever come across. Looked at my groggy face and realised that I had put on so much of weight since I came here.



Wore this long sleeved black t-shirt which turned out to be such a huge mistake. Did all that necessary and finally was ready for college. Five minutes before class began, I left home for college.



First class was physics. Boring as usual. Then we made our way for the chemistry class which was, thankfully, slightly more interesting. An hour passed and recess arrived. If you know me well enough, you would know that I find recess the only worthwhile thing about school and now, college too.



Along with the rest of my classmates, I went to McDonald's. We arranged the tables and formed this huge row. Again, we behaved like we never went to a fast food restaurant before. It was like a bunch of barbarians seeing food for the first time.



I ordered a hash brown and a cup of coffee. Pathetic, I know. But being in college is also about being more economical. We talked, laughed, ate and the brunch was good. Don't ask me how it's related, but we talked about coffee, tea, sperms and ovum.



The break ended. Was so tempted to skip the Malaysian Studies class but decided against it being the good girl I am. Of course, the class was so boring, having Will I AM as the teacher.



Next was maths with all that homework. And finally English class with a comical clown-faced teacher you feel like laughing at even when she's angry.



We were supposed to do a report to investigate the pros and cons of something. I chose to do a report about New Water from Singapore and guess what my teacher said? Apparently, Singapore is too big a country to go against. Felt like bursting out laughing but managed to control myself.



College ended. Withdrew some money and went back to my apartment. Did my maths homework and took a nice short nap. Woke up an hour later and started studying for my physics quiz. Managed to cramp all that projectile crap which hopefully I won't forget anytime soon.



Dinner was the usual. Again at the oh-so-sick-of-the-food Asia Cafe. Came home did some chemistry, continued with more physics and even more of maths.



Went online and read about projectiles, vectors and resolving vectors till I got a massive headache. Decided to take a break and start blogging.



While blogging, heard someone stomping up the staircase screaming hysterically. Got so frightened, imagining a ghostly figure running up and down the staircase.



Decided to stop blogging and hit the sack.



Tomorrow is going to be just another today.

The chapter of 2008

01.01.2008



The start of a brand new beginning.




My New Year Resolutions



1. Study hard. Make that really hard. I have to somehow or rather achieve outstanding results at college. For a start, I don't even know what the heck my course is all about. South Australian Matriculation (SAM). All I know is that I use to have a dog called Sam once.


2. Lose weight. Come the holidays and I put on lots of unwanted kilograms. I can't fit into most of my clothes now. Sigh.


3. Eat only healthy food and avoid oily stuff. Right. I started out the morning with a plate of oily mee, by the way. I can so see myself sticking to this resolution throughout the year. Oh, and I should adopt a healthier lifestyle too. Heard that Taylor's College has a gym.


4. Grow taller. The hardest of all, I would say. You can't exactly control your height like you can of your weight. But this I must do somehow. I trip and fall flat on my face with heels on. So being taller would spare me the high heels.


5. Manage my time well. Make sure I finish up assignments on time and stop slacking. Be hardworking and destroy the 'lazy bug' I had in my head throughout last year.


6. Concentrate when the lecturers teach. (Hah. No more the term 'teacher'.) Must not sleep during class like what I did throughout last year.


7. Should be a better person in all aspects. Be polite even when it comes to the snobbiest person alive. Be patient and must stop being short-tempered. In short, be the girl your parents taught you to be when you were younger.


8. Save money. I have to buy more music albums and books. The ones I already have are starting to get outdated.


9. Make lots of new friends. I can't possibly count on my cousin. (He's the only one I know that is going to be in the same class as me, by the way.)


10. Speak better English. Try to avoid using lah's or mah's when speaking. Quite hard cause I tend to say lah almost all the time. Plus, I must brush up on my vocabulary.


11. Be more confident in front of a crowd. Think before saying anything because I always get into trouble by saying something I'm not supposed to at a completely wrong time.


12. Try not to do ridiculous things that I usually do. I'm going to a new place and am meeting completely different people so I don't want to scare them away.


13. Mingle more with the opposite sex. Being in a single-sex school your whole life (except for kindergarten, which doesn't count) doesn't help, by the way.


14. Learn how to cook. I don't even know how to break an egg, let alone frying it. Or the alternative, marry a guy who cooks well so I don't have to worry about smelling like smoke for the rest of my life.


15. And of course, the most important resolution of all resolutions is to stick to the damn resolutions.



Wanted to make eight resolutions for this being the year 2008 but of course, as you can see, I got slightly too carried away.



One thing about making resolutions is that, they don't exactly happen, do they? I don't know if it's only me, but new year resolutions are never achievable and least likely to be bothered by most who failed to pursue it. A universal known fact, I tell you.



Anyway, since I already did a list, I'm going to try and make it happen.



And whether I fail or succeed, you'll only know when it's 2009. Which I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it till then.




Happy New Year to one and all. Make 2008 a memorable one.

A reply to 'Tharani is a bitch', by WeiWern.

In approximately four days, I'll be leaving for KL.


And in five days, the hectic schedule I thought I'd be free from for a few months, will repeat.


I don't like blogging about all this either and I wonder if anyone even enjoys reading it.


But then again, I just have to pour out all my anger, frustration, guilt, slight joy and excitement, hatret, pain and discomfort.




I can't believe I'll be leaving the place I grew up in and will soon live with a bunch of unknown girls which I don't think will make as good friends as I already have.


To make things worse and to make me feel even bad about everything, WeiWern just had to write a whole post in her blog about how evil I am.


Plus, she actually called me a bitch.


But I don't blame her.


When your good friend suddenly tells you that she's are leaving you all of a sudden and there might not be any possibility of you meeting her again you definitely would feel like yelling, BITCH!


Just like what I did when she told me she was leaving JB to go live with her dad in KL which is miles and miles away. And the look on her face when she said that was so unreadable.


"I'll be going to KL, Tharani."


I was like, "What?!" And she just stood there with a blank look.


I cried and then realised that she wouldn't come back and that was the end of our relationship and so what if there was the phone and Internet, nothing would be the same then to meet her and talk to her face-to-face.


But somehow or rather, I learned to live without her and in two months or so, I found her sitting there in tuition looking all so serene and innocent. The girl I thought I might never meet again was there and everything was back to normal.


And so, I thought it was.


We thought that we will always be friends, there for each other and we promised to do Form Six together until my mum just had to say, "Doing Form Six is a waste of time, I'm going to enrol you in college."


It was like a wave splashing and washing away everything. Going to college was not something I had ever planned to do or even thought about even for a split-second.


And there was my mum telling me to move on and that college means a better future and that I'm already one year younger ( I'm only sixteen but completed SPM, by the way ) and STPM would be longer route so doing pre-u would be a smarter thing and so on and so forth.


She didn't wait for my answer though. She went along, paid the registration fees and now she's saying, "Do you want me to lose the money I paid?"


Of course, I don't. Although if she willingly withdraws, I shall not say anything.


But as for now, I have to go by plans. Which means I'll won't be seeing any of my friends except for a few who are at the same college as I am but the key point is, I won't be seeing WeiWern.


I feel so bad for ditching her but I just have to remind her that she ditched me once too.


Now, we're equal. *Evil grin*


But if only it was that easy.


We pledged to be best buddies. We wanted to be friends until we were six feet under the ground. We wanted to find for husbands together, have kids at the same time so that they could be friends too, push prams together and bitch about our husband's secretaries together.


(All these feel so childish now. How old were we when we wanted to do that again?)


See the past tense there? I wish I could say, we want to, rather than, we wanted to. But I don't know if we really can do all that now.


I can't believe I'm saying this but, there's the phone and the the Internet. The exact same thing you said when you left me.


But it's not the same, is it? You came back after that, I might not.


Don't you ever forget me. Don't let this friendship we had just die off like that.


Goodbye, my friend. Be strong and don't become cappati. (An inside joke.)

Holidays are over. College is bound.

Holidays being over is one thing.



College being the future is another.



None of which I'm keen on.



Except for the part where my dad had to get me a new laptop prior to joining college.


But that's a completely unrelated matter.



The most crucial thing here is that I'm in a dilemma now.



I think I'm reaching mid-life crisis.


At sixteen.

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.

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On the brighter side of things, I just made the tastiest discovery. Potato chips should be eaten like this:


1. Lick off all the salt on the potato chip.

2. Make sure that there is no trace of salt on the potato chip and it's slightly but not too soggy.

3. Pop it into your mouth and let it melt.


Best if done with Pringles. But this method is definitely not encouraged if you want to try it with the last potato chip and satisfaction is not exactly guaranteed either.


I have no idea why but this is how I've been eating Pringles for the past few days.


Must be a symptom of the mid-life crisis.

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You must be wondering why I never said anything about the trip to KL. Well, I just found out that the reason my parents brought me there is to enrol me in college.


Translation- No more holidays.


Also means- A new beginning.


A scary new beginning for that matter.



Everything feels like crap to me now.


My hair is crap.


My feet feel like crap and it's because of the shoes bought at Mid Valley.


No wonder they were on sale.


Even the t-shirts I bought excitedly looks like crap now.


And to make things worse, this post also looks very crap.



It must be the mid-life crisis.



Maybe I should start on writing a will.



Are the Gods listening?



P.S- I'll have my cousin to thank for the help in getting my new laptop being the nut I am when it comes to technology.

Of the Ah-Beng and Ah-Lian blogs

What is their problem, tell me?


I have the least idea of what's going through their minds and I don't know what is their damn problem. Why do they even blog, tell me?


To show off? But what is it do they have in their blogs that people would want to read?


Nothing, I tell you, nothing.



They tend to post the most stupid things with their so-called Ing-ge-lish.



Today ar I very the sien. I listen to the iTunes and clicking my mousie again and again and surfing the net also cannot see nice nice thing wan.


Haiya I vely lazy leh. Lazy to blog aledi. Got no inspilation wan liao.


I lovE MusiX Very mUch And No bOdy caN stop Me to Love It... eSpeciaLLy EngLish SOng... I AlSo Like tO BikE My SouLMate SkuTEr.


Get it? I don't.


(Blogger's note: If you're actually feeling threatened by what I've already said about these ah-beng and ah-lian bloggers, then don't read on because there's more to come.)


It is like a trend for them to post these kind of things especially the one with the alternating capital letters. I wonder how people actually even read stuff like that.


And they just love to say things like:


Haiz.


Sobx.


Muackz.


Lolx.


What is it with the letter 'x' and 'z' at the end of almost every word?



And have you noticed the new words these people come up with nowadays?


Fugly.


Shizz.


Gaawh.


Rawrrh.


I'd be glad if someone actually cared to tell me what these words mean.


It's either that I'm an extremely inexperienced blogger and these are the trends nowadays and I'm missing out on the coolest way of blogging.


Or that I'm actually normal and these people are the abnormal ones because the word fugly and haiz is non-existent.



What if I tell you that what you've seen is just a quarter of the real thing?


If you flinched, you're just like me. Normal, I think, I hope.


If their school teacher actually reads their blog filled with terrible, horrendous Ing-ge-lish like that, they'll will certainly get a huge tight slap right across their faces. Something that my mum would definitely do.



And check this one out:


Like, oh my god. You won't believe what just happened. A guy, like, totally made a move on me! He was like, totally ewww. I was, like, just sitting there all coolly and nicely and he was like, "Hey, can I like buy you a drink?" and I was like "Wateva." I didn't accept the drink la, of course but can you believe it? Lolx. Too bad he was, like real, fugly and not a hottie. Sobx.


Do you feel for her? She makes her blog sound like she's talking to one of her girlfriends.


I'm like, so pissed with my boyfriend. I think he's so, cheating on me. Can you believe it? Guys are like the, totally weirdest creatures on earth. ( I swear copied it directly from an unknown person's blog before any of you call me names.) Is my bf, like gone mad or something? I can't believe he is like, so rude to me. Like, what the heck? I'm, like, his sweetie, for the god's sake.



Tell me again, that I'm the normal one here.


It's not only about their Ing-ge-lish, it is also about the way they like to post shameless cam-whoring pictures of themselves, with the 'peace' sign, pouting their lips and doing the weirdest pose you've ever seen.


Really ah-beng/ah-lian, I tell you.


But what rights have I got to say about them. They are accepted in their own society and people still do read their blogs just like what I did in the past hour.


But what I did is not counted though, I was doing some research in order to become more experienced in blogging when I actually found a whole string of such bloggers.


And the funniest thing is they are all linked to each other, the tags in their chatbox are also extremely ah-beng/ah-lien -ish and almost all their posts sounds alike in an ah-beng/ah-lien way.


Fascinating, don't you think?



Well, what I actually wanted to blog about in the first place before I got so carried away was that I wouldn't be able to blog for the next whole week or so.


And, wait, it's not because I got no inspilation wan liao or that I'm too lazy to blog aledi.


It's because I'll be leaving for KL tomorrow.


And I'm informing you of this because I have this faint vision in my mind of people visiting my blog and seeing that I have no updates and then feeling so sad. It's like I make people's day with the entertainment I provide through blogging.


Okay. I'm beginning to sound like one of the ah-lian bloggers.

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We are starting to live in an ah-beng/ah-lian world, I tell you. Their popularity is rising and soon they might take over the world for all you know.



~You shall see.

Tickling your funny bones

It's true what they say, small innocent things bring a smile larger than a joke. Check this ridiculous signboards and you'll see why.




Is it the sign with the sharp edges or the signboard? Anyway, just be careful in case you want to hug the signboard or something, it might prick you.




Parents, take notice of this. Ignore your chidren and they will be swinging across bars and jumping through rings like professionals.





Safety warning. I mean, you really would not want to fall into the animal's cages because if they eat your disgustingly poisonous body, they'll die! And the next day, the headlines of the papers will be, "LION DIES AFTER EATING THE STOMACH OF A MAN WHICH SUPPOSEDLY CONTAINED CHICKEN AND HAM SANDWICH."

Left! No, keep to the right! Wait, turn to the left. I mean, to your right! What the-? CRASH!!!!!

Erm. It's true, actually. Maybe they should put up such a sign in all public toilets. It'll definitely make a huge difference.

Cigarette buds. On the floor. Burning customers hands and knees. Is this bar for really short people or something?

The best reason I've ever came across. Students should use this method, really. "Teacher, my homework is unfinished because it is incomplete."

This is my all-time favourite.

(Ah, leganya.) Finally, owning a licence to fart. We all should get a PhD in fartology. To learn the art of farting in all aspects. Just wonderful.

I have got nothing to say. But don't you think that almost every guy who sees this will imagine this poor child fifteen years later?

Say "TAK NAK" if you want to end up like the 400 000 people who died from cigarettes.

Say "NAK" if you want to be like 40 million other people who are enjoying themselves with Malboro!

This is what I would call boob stereotyping. How unfair is that? Anyway, for the A's, stay away!

Apparently, there would be water on the roads when it rains. A great discovery, don't you think? But, seriously, I think this signboard reminds me a lot of myself especially when my brain doesn't function so well.

(-_-)"